I've been in a void lately. Nothing seems to make sense. I'm done living in the past, but I also don't know where to go from here, and the present feels scary. What I thought I knew seems like a blur. But so does the present. And the future. It feels like I can't figure out the next step. The next move. The next "thing". What's the point of it all? Why are we here? What do I do next? It's a weird place to be in. My dreams are still there. But far, far away into the ...
[ journal entry | 2022.03.15 ]
I took a picture of this journal entry that I wrote a few weeks ago but forgot to post. I've been reflecting a lot on how we view ourselves, our bodies, and how we define our self-worth. I've been trying to shift my perspective, but also understand where my conditioning comes from. Why do I think I need to look a certain way to be loved or to be proud of myself? Why do I push myself beyond my limits all the time to do more? What I've also realized that "doing" has been a coping ...
[ JOURNAL ENTRY | 2022.03.10 ]
Have you ever noticed how much you distract yourself ? Like really. Think about it. Picking up our phones every 2 minutes. Watching TV.Keeping our schedules busy. Worrying about someone else’s problems.Scrolling on social media. Why do we do this ? What’s so terrible about our lives or our selves that we feel the need to constantly distract ourselves or numb ourselves? When in our life did we lose the availing to just be present. To lay down in the grass and look at the ...
[ journal entry 13 | 2022.02.14 ]
It's Valentine's Day. I just posted a funny Instagram Story, but then I started feeling sad for being alone tonight. Isn't it so ridiculous how things that seems so minute and irrelevant can upset us? They say that the "firsts" after a death is always the hardest. Yes, I'm still mourning the death of my marriage. The first Valentine, the first Christmas, the first birthdays, the first anniversary...those were the toughest. But they're still hard in other ways. Missing something you ...
[ journal entry 12 | 2022.02.13 ]
You know when things feel good, they feel really good? And when it's bad, it's like the world is ending? How can we get out of this cycle of too many ups and downs? Even though I find that overall, I've been a lot more levelled out in life (in the past, things used to feel a lot more up and down) I still wonder if my current ups and downs are "normal" or just a part of the human experience. I wonder how others experiences emotions and their day-to-day life. I think about how someone else ...
[ journal entry 11 | 2022.02.08 ]
The road to happiness is riddled with twists and turns. But what is true happiness? Is it a destination? Is it a moment? Is it a feeling? Is it a state of being? These are the questions that are constantly on my mind. The other day, I was doing my chores (if I’m honest, with a bit of a bad attitude) because I just didn’t feel like it. I worked close to 50 hours last week and the last thing I wanted to be doing on a Sunday after doing more overtime for my 9-5 job was to change my ...