It seems like lately, I’ve been having lots of bad days. Before you run away, don’t worry, I’m in a better mood now so you don’t run the risk of being on the receiving end of nasty looks or comments from me (or maybe you will….keep on reading, if you dare…mu-hahaha).
It happens to all of us, a bad day where regardless of the reason, everything is annoying, work is draining, you lack patience, you feel tired, you’re drained of energy. You just don’t feel centred and happy and you just want to crawl under your covers and hide from the world (Pro-tip: I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work). I get it. We all have bad days. And that was me wayyyyy too often in the past few weeks.
There are days that we are just not okay. And I’m learning that it’s okay: it’s okay not to be chipper and happy all the time. You can’t be. There’s always going to be something that comes up and depending on how you’re doing physically and emotionally, some days you are able to manage that external ‘stuff’ better, and other days, you can’t.
[bctt tweet=”It’s human to have bad days sometimes. What’s more important is how to get out of it.” username=”seppyforlove”]
There are many factors involved in how you’re feeling, and I’m learning how to maximize my well-being by practicing gratitude and mindfulness every day, by feeding my body what it wants and not what it needs (because my brain would tell me that my body needs ice cream every day…) and to be kind and patient with myself and not push myself to do things if I’m tired or if I need alone time. The priority should always be self-care.
Despite these efforts, I can’t control everything all the time. I don’t have control over everything that happens at work or how my sleep is every night. There are also external stressors that I can’t always manage effectively. Life happens. You can’t control it all (to my disappointment).
[bctt tweet=”Life happens, you can’t control everything. You only have control over how you react.” username=”seppyforlove”]
And that’s what’s been happening the last few weeks. I haven’t managed my stress as effectively as before and I’m finding myself more tired, more reclusive, more anxious than usual. And I don’t like it. But the first step is accepting and understanding why this is happening (it also helps to understand what your triggers are) and then going through the motions until you have the energy to handle whatever you need to handle.
I’m not quite at that stage yet. Even though as I’m writing this now, I’m feeling a bit better, I know that my emotional management is still not optimal and that there are a few things that I need tackle head first once and for all. But for now, the priority is to practice self-care so that I can get myself back on my feet so that I have the energy to deal with these issues.
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Until then, for days where I feel cranky, annoyed, impatient and all the draining emotions* that you can think and my mind easily spirals out of control, I try to stick to the basics and do easy things to take care of myself so that I can give myself the time and space to feel better. This is self-care 101 – the foundation of it. Do the things that make you feel better, that help you regain your physical and emotional energy. Do the things that make you feel calm and avoid what doesn’t.
[bctt tweet=”Are you having a bad day? Here are a few easy ways to help you feel better ” username=”seppyforlove”]
Here are the things that I do to get through a bad day. You might want to start with one of these approaches or figure out a combination that you want to try. I truly believe that knowledge is power so be observant of yourself, what works for you and what doesn’t and create a ‘self-care toolbox’ for yourself before your next rough day before it happens. The more aware you are that this might happen the better prepared and equipped you can be and the more effective your approach can be.
{ Accept it }
The first step when you’re having a bad day or dealing with a draining emotion* is to accept it. Don’t fight it. It’s there to stay for a bit but trust that it will go away. Remind yourself that it’s temporary and it’s part of life and that it will be okay.
[bctt tweet=”Step 1 of getting through a bad day : accept that you’re having a bad day” username=”seppyforlove”]
(* I’d rather call it a draining emotion instead of negative emotion because I don’t think there’s such a thing as a negative emotion – our emotions are there to send us a message and if the message is ‘negative’ (i.e. you’re reacting impatiently to something) then there’s an underlying message you need to listen to and deal with.)
A lot of the process of personal growth and emotional management starts in your brain – how you look at a situation, how you define, interpret, perceive or describe a situation. If you see it as negative, then it’ll be negative. If you try to be neutral towards it, then you’re not giving it more power and putting more energy into it and making it bigger than it is.
Your brain is a like a muscle and these habits require consistent repetition and work so that they become second nature. I’m still not there yet myself! But with time and effort, it’s worth it because you will get to a place where you are able to observe and understand your emotions rather than fight them and make it worse for yourself.
{ Deep breaths }
This is a tool that you should add to your life arsenal. The best part is that it takes literally a few seconds to take deep breaths and you can do it wherever you are. It’s one of the best ways to de-stress instantly and it’s also a basic healthy habit to have. It’s good for your body to take deep breaths because if you didn’t know, your body and brain need oxygen, so why not increase you intake to take some of that O2 to your brain.
If you tend to forget to take deep breaths throughout the day, set a reminder on your phone every hour, put a post-it on your monitor to remind yourself or get a accountability buddy so that you can remind each other during the day with a quick “breathe” text message – find a way to remind yourself to do take deep breaths throughout the day.
On a bad day, do this even more frequently if possible so that you are constantly reminding yourself to come back into the present moment to avoid your brain from spirally out of control into draining thoughts. This can be a simple way to refocus on the task at hand and not think ahead too much.
** Bonus tip – The Calm App also has a great deep breathing exercise that’s very easy to use. On really bad days, I have even gone numerous times in a quiet room at work and take 2-3 minutes to do a few of the deep breathing exercises and it helped me re-centre myself.
{ Pamper yourself }
I really believe in the ‘fake it ’til you make it mentality’ so on days where I feel like sh*t, I’ll take the extra time to put on an outfit that makes me feel confident, and I’ll take a bit more time on my makeup because it helps me feel a bit better. It might sound superficial but it really isn’t. The inside and the outside are interconnected. Take care of one and it’ll help the other.
Ironically enough, I’ll probably get more compliments on how I look on those days because I’ve put more effort into it and I usually joke back that the better I look, the worse I feel inside because I’m trying to compensate haha. But the funny is thing is that it’s not even a joke!! Pampering yourself a little bit more on a bad day will help you already feel less shitty about yourself on the outside! You have one thing less to worry about and feel shitty about!
{ Have something to look forward to }
This underlines the importance of knowing yourself and what helps you when you’re having a bad day. If you have a list of self-care practices that you know you can resort to, then it’s easy go back to it and decide what you can TONIGHT to help you feel better.
This can be going out to dinner with your S.O., calling a close friend, doing a spa night with a face mask, getting your nails done, watching your favourite show, cooking your favourite meal while listening to a podcast, going for a jog outside… Whatever works for you, figure out what would help you the most today and DO IT!
I know for me, it’ll really depend on why I’m having a rough day. This past week, even though I’ve been tired, the gym was a no-compromise solution that I looked forward to every day because I knew it would make me feel better. My workout were a bit easier some days but sweating and getting my body moving helps me de-stress the most so I made sure to do it no matter what, while also being kind with myself and listening to my body. The first day I didn’t feel like going even though I knew that I should, so i told myself I’d go and start with an easy 30 minutes on the treadmill and if I didn’t feel like continuing, I would allow myself to go home. Guess what happened? The endorphins began to kick in and I stayed for the full hour and did my full workout.
{ Don’t push yourself }
Don’t kick yourself while you’re down. You don’t feel well, why push yourself with an endless to do list or to have the same routine that you maintain when you have the energy? Are you too tired for the gym? Skip it today! You can do some light stretches or yoga at home instead, or postpone your workout to another day.
I find that I have the mental capacity to push myself a lot – push myself over my limit at the gym, push myself to be efficient when I get home in the evening to get chores done and work on my blog and life goals. It’s always push, push, push. But there are times where you need to just stop and be kind towards yourself and stop pushing.
[bctt tweet=”If you’re having a bad day, stop pushing yourself to do more – just let yourself BE.” username=”seppyforlove”]
Yes it takes a bit of effort to be mindful about how you’re feeling to determine what you need right now and what you make you feel better. But go with the mentality of not pushing yourself beyond your limit otherwise you wont have the mental and physical space to recuperate and feel better and it’ll just get worse, trust me.
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{ Go through the motions }
It might sound silly but go through the motions of your day. Get up, brush your teeth, do your morning stretches, get ready, go to work, go to lunch, eat your snack, go to the gym, come home, eat dinner, fold laundry, take a shower, go to bed.
Sometimes you just need to numb it out and ignore the bad day you just had as best you can and you might even forget it or you’ll have moments where you don’t even remember why you were cranky to begin with.
Our routine can easily become mechanical. And even though I think it’s important to try to be mindful throughout the day as much as possible so that you’re present in the moment, there are days where it’s better to tune out and just get through the day until you’re able to go home and get into your pjs and crawl on the couch.
{ Self-Love Lesson }
We all have rough days. It’s okay, you’re not alone. Practice self-love and take care of yourself first until you are back on your feet and THEN you can tackle what triggered your bad day. It might be something you can avoid next time, or it could be a wake up call that you need to change something. Or it’s something that you don’t have control over and you need to recognize that as well. Once you determine the trigger, you can figure out a way to manage it. But until then, love yourself and practice self-care first!
What do you do when you have a bad day?
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Deanna says
Amazing reminders and so, so true. I’m a full believer in not pushing yourself too hard during moments like you describe. I hope your days start looking up soon!
Deanna
http://www.luxandvitae.com
Sepideh says
I’m really struggling to stop pushing myself beyond my capacity but it’s a tough habit to break because if I don’t push through I feel like I’m weak…! I need to change that!
Lauren Becker says
This is a great post, and lots of wonderful ideas. I know that when I’m having a bad day, it’s nice to look forward to something – even if it’s just the fact that I’ll be home at the end of the day (if it’s a work day).
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
Sepideh says
Thanks Lauren!! I’m glad you enjoyed it!!
And being able to come home at the end of the day is a GREAT feeling indeed!!
Jo says
Thank you for sharing such a practical and inspiring way to deal with a bad day! Lord knows I need that haha
http://www.sipsandstyleblog.com
Sepideh says
Awww haha Hope it helps!! We all need it sometimes!
Laura says
Love this post. For some reason we feel the need to be strong all of the time, to be constantly happy. I think we should all be allowed to fall apart, to cry, to admit that we’re not okay. Because after all that, we can find ourselves again.
Laura // https://thosepositivethoughts.com
Sepideh says
Well said Laura, why the heck do we need to be strong all the time and to always be ‘on’ and okay..!? We all need the space to be able to fall apart sometimes and just cry or be with our emotions. That’s definitely the first step in being okay…
Thank you for commenting! XO
Divya says
I do feel like we’ve been taught as a society to distract ourselves or do something to get over the thing that is making us feel bad. When, in reality, we must actually really dig deep and look at the “what” that is making us feel that way so we can properly process it and get through whatever feelings we may be feeling more effectively.
Sepideh says
So well said Divya and I couldn’t agree with you more!! We aren’t used to dealing with our emotions or taking the time to observe why we’re feeling a certain way. I’m trying to constantly be aware of how I’m feeling and why and it’s slowly paying off because I can figure it out and fix it (most of the time).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you brought a very valuable point!
Lizzie says
Really great post, I think more people talking about this instantly makes us feel better!
http://www.thebutter.co.uk/
Sepideh says
I agree with you Lizzie, talking about it is always the first step and it already helps a lot!!
Amy | Loving Our Messy says
Great tips! I’m also in the camp of fake it til you make it. I have to remember the rest of these on those inevitably bad ones!
Sepideh says
Faking it until you make it is applicable in so many areas in our lives, such a good tip!!
kyles says
I absolutely love this post, especially being a mental health blogger myself <3
Sepideh says
Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it!!
Elyse @ Just Murrayed says
Great reminders! When I’m having a bad day I just assume the next day is going to be bad too and it’s a weird cycle.
Sepideh says
Thanks Elyse <3
ciara says
Great and inspirational post, thanks for sharing
Sepideh says
Thank you Ciara!!
Viktoria says
Love your tips and agree with all of them. I think the most important is to accept that bad days happen and we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves in those cases. And do not let one bad day influence the following ones as well.
http://www.thelifestyle-files.com
Sepideh says
Thanks Viktoria! And you’re so right, just accept the day is bad and not let it consume your whole week!
Emily says
Sometimes I actually prefer wallowing in my bad days! And then coffee always does the trick for me as a mood booster. 😉
-Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com
Sepideh says
HA! I LOVE THAT! And that’s true, sometimes you just need to WALLOW and feel the feels…!
Vanessa x | www.springlilies.com says
I find pampering yourself always helps, amazing post!
Vanessa x | http://www.springlilies.com
Sepideh says
YES! I’m all about pampering!! How do you like to pamper yourself?
summer says
Amazing post, Seppy! I find that when I give myself freedom to go with the flow, instead of pushing myself, my bad days end up better than what they would if I put extra pressure on myself. Perfect tweetables, too!
Sepideh says
Thanks Summer!!
And YES! That’s something I’m slowly learning – just going with it instead of fighting it.. and that makes it so much easier!
Basedonyou.bytye says
Thank you
Rikki says
Pampering myself works SO well for me because when I feel pretty I feel better lol. So that’s a big one. But not pushing myself? Yeah I’m really guilty of that one.
Sepideh says
Isn’t interesting how pampering ourselves can help how we feel inside?! And I’m working on the whole not pushing myself… a work in progress!
Marci Smith says
I’m so sorry you’ve been having a hard time. I’m glad to hear you’ve found ways to push through it though!
Sepideh says
Thanks Marci!
Wilbs says
This is a great post. As well as the beautiful content, I also really loved your layout and the design of your post. Awesome work xx
Sepideh says
Thank you for the encouraging words!!!