Oh the inner bitch, we all have one and she’s a real downer. She creates a lot of self-doubt and is holding you back from living your true potential and reaching your goals. Find out how you can quiet the inner bitch so that you can stop self-sabotage and start living and slaying your goals!
* Disclaimer: I’m using the term ‘bitch’ in a cheeky manner. Please don’t be offended by this, I’m trying to put a funny twist to something that we all struggled because it’s always better to laugh about it than cry, Amiright?
Have you met your inner bitch yet? I’ve met mine, and let me tell ya…she’s a real bitch.
You know the type that always has a negative comment to make, or likes to pretend that she knows everything?
Yeah, I told you, she’s annoying AF.
Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but everyone has an inner bitch and if you want to start slaying your goals, you need to quiet your inner bitch so that you can stop self-sabotaging yourself and start living your dream life.
[bctt tweet=”We all have an inner bitch – that little voice inside our heads that likes to chyme in even if she was never asked to comment” username=”seppyforlove”]
{ Who’s the inner bitch }
Sorry to say this, but she’s you. Or at least she’s part of you.
She likes to comment on everything and anything, to discourage you when you have a great idea or want to try something new. She creates stem self-doubt at any opportunity and messes with your head.
[bctt tweet=”Your inner bitch has a comment about everything and anything. Find out how to quiet her so that you can start hearing the thoughts that matter” username=”seppyforlove”]
She’s that little voice inside your head that makes you question yourself, whether you are able to do something, whether you will be successful, whether you are good enough..whether you are worthy to receive love or self-love.
She’s your biggest inner critique and she has to be shut up.
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{ Why your inner bitch is such a shit-stirrer }
Realistically, the inner bitch will always be there, but hopefully with time, she will be downgraded to being that annoying person in your life that bursts your bubble and keeps your ego in check. Because we all need in our lives (more on that later).
But until then, the inner bitch is a problem and she needs to be deal with, ASAP.
Your inner bitch is a problem because she’s a shit stirrer. She’s negative and creates self-doubt at every turn.
Got a new haircut? “You look like you have a mop on your head, stop smiling like a moron.”
Got a new job? “Why the EFF did they hire you? You wont do well in that new role…”
Working on a goal? “You won’t be able to achieve it, you SUCK!”
I told you, the bitch is ANNOYING AF.
The moment you start feeling good about yourself or you have a breakthrough, she swoops in and reminds you of past failures or situations where you weren’t able to have the outcome you wanted.
[bctt tweet=”Your inner bitch is a problem you need to deal ASAP because she’s only going to hold you back from slaying your goals!” username=”seppyforlove”]
The inner bitch is a problem because is holding you back and stirring up fear inside you and finding any way possible to destabilize you and make you question yourself.
She is the reason you haven’t reached your goals and if you don’t shut her up, she will continue to hold you back.
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{ How to quiet the inner bitch }
Step 1 | Awareness
Do you recognize your inner bitch? When’s the last time you’ve heard from her? I bet you heard from her today…(I know I did…).
If you answered yes to above question and were able to think about the last time you heard from the inner bitch … then congratulations! You just graduated from step 1 of the class!
The first step is always awareness. I’ve said this many times and there’s a reason for it.
[bctt tweet=”The first step to change is always awareness” username=”seppyforlove”]
The moment you put a spotlight on a problem, in this case, it’s the inner bitch, she’s NOT gonna like it. She’s going to cower away into the shadows because that’s where she’s most comfortable. She might have an opinion, but she’s not as confident as you might think.
Take away some of her power and put the spotlight on her and send her the clear message: “I see you and I’m not gonna take it very much longer!”
This is why being aware of your thoughts is so important and why I emphasize mindfulness so much. When you start paying attention to your thought patterns and noticing what goes on in your brain, you will be able to start untangling the mess that’s inside all our brains so that you can create stronger and more empowering thought patterns. And don’t worry, you’re not alone, we all have a mess to untangle in our brains (you should see mine! It’s a mess up there!).
Step 2 | Shut her up!
Now that you are more aware of the comments of the inner bitch, this is your time to start shutting her up. And that happens when you’re able to counter any argument or stupid comment she makes because God knows she always have something to say.
I find that writing out the self-doubt and the fears and all the negative sh*t you want to get out of your head really helps because not only are you getting it out, but then you can see it more concretely and start writing out counter arguments for each stupid thought and comment that the inner bitch has planted in your head.
Is she questioning your ability to achieve a goal? Shut her up and create an air-tight strategy so that you can show her wrong!
Is she commenting on your appearance? SCREW YOU BITCH! Tell yourself “I’m a strong and beautiful woman and I am defined by more than just my good looks.”
Find powerful thoughts to counter anything negative that the inner bitch has to say. Shut her up on the spot before it gets out of control! Don’t give her too much power or energy because otherwise she will take advantage and just try to take over!
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Step 3 | Drown her out
Repetition and patience are two important habits that you need to cultivate because you need to create long-term and lasting change to really quiet the inner bitch.
The inner bitch questions everything that you do, say and think because … well, she’s a bitch and she enjoys bringing you down.
To drown her out and create a hostile environment where she isn’t able to voice her annoying and useless opinion, you need to foster an empowering and positive environment.
[bctt tweet=”To drown out your inner bitch, create an empowering and positive environment where she can’t thrive” username=”seppyforlove”]
In other words, you need to work on creating a positive and empowering mindset where your thoughts and patterns are trained to see the positive in any situation, that you’re able to pick up on the lessons in any circumstances, that you welcome challenges and/or change because you know that only means one thing, that you can grow from it and become stronger.
Drown out the bitch by filling your mind with positive thoughts.
By practicing these 3 steps over and over again, quieting the inner bitch will only get easier with time until her voice will become so weak that you’re going to barely hear her.
What are some effective strategies that YOU use to quiet the inner bitch?
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Tabbie says
My inner bitch is encouraged by anxiety and a pessimistic attitude LOL It takes a lot of work to quiet her, which is why I have been striving to live a more simple life! Awesome post!
Sepideh says
I totally feel you Tabbie – I have anxiety and I used to have a more pessimistic attitude but with time and effort, it can get SO much better!!! Living a more simple life – what a GREAT idea!!!!
Kelly says
Ugh, this hit me right where I needed it today! It’s easy to be so negative, catty, and self-sabotaging. These are amazing tips to shut up the inner bitch and push through to reach your goals. Thank you for being so real about this topic!
Sepideh says
I’m so happy it helped you Kelly! We’re not alone in this and I think the more we talk about it the more we realize there’s nothing wrong with us and that a lot of people struggle with this too and we can share our experiences and learnings!
Jenny says
Yes! Thank you for keeping it real. I love these tips.
Sepideh says
Thanks Jenny! Glad you liked it!!
Rachel says
This is too funny – and so true! Thanks for the reminder to make the inner B stop!
Sepideh says
haha thanks Rachel, I’m glad you liked it. It’s nice to laugh about the more serious things because it makes easier to talk about it !
Olivia says
Yes, practice makes perfect! Repetition and patiently “correcting” inner thoughts is key. Thanks for the great piece.
Sepideh says
Repetition and patience – YES to both!! I get impatient with myself but it’s nice to take a step back and look at far you’ve come!
Lailah says
Gurl, my innee bitch always gets in the way when I’m having a creative moment. Every time I want to weite a post or work on my blog, she goes, “you can do it later” or “that’ll be a shitty post” and so on. It really is annoying and draining. Love that we can relate.
http://www.princessmiiaa.com
Sepideh says
Oh darling, I think a LOT of people can relate, you’re totally not alone in this!!! Gotta shut her up haha
Kelly says
Great post!! I think as women we have more of a tendency to self sabotage too!!! Shit her up and slay the day! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sepideh says
YASSS GIRLL!!! SHUT HER UP AND SLAY THE DAY LOVE THAT HAHA
Lily says
My inner self-sabotaging bitch is bag — I’m so hard on myself sometimes. Loved this!
Sepideh says
As women, we tend to be hard on ourselves Lily! But being aware of it is the first !!
sadie says
loved these tips!! the inner biiiii is the worsssst! i’m definitely going to be referring back to this in the future!
Sepideh says
haha glad you liked it Sadie!!!
Yolanda says
I love this post so much! I never thought about it like this but yes – we all do have an inner bitch and I think I’m going to beat her up soon! Great tips – I especially like your recommendation to drown her out with positive thoughts. Getting rid of her is a constant job, but so good to remember to eventually get rid of her 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration here!!
Sepideh says
haha YES! Beat her up!!! Its takes constant effort to monitor your thoughts but like any other muscle, with time, it becomes easier! Practice makes perfect (or almost haha)
Kat|Kat Charles Blog says
Great tips. That inner B is a lier and the only way to drown out the lies is to speak truth!
Sepideh says
Yes!!! Love the way you put it Kat!
McKayla says
Love this! I have this amazing optimistic personality when it comes to other people. But when it comes to my own life, I’m a total pessimist. Inner bitch is out and preparing me for the worst! It’s a struggle.
Sepideh says
I’m the same McKayla!!! We’re so kind and patient and understanding of others and when it comes to ourselves, we’re SO unkind!!!
Johanne says
Oooh, I’m well aware of my inner bitch. I’m slowly drowning her out, but she’ll always be there. I usually try to ignore her, by replacing her voice with positive thoughts. Not always easy. And not always effective, but I’ll get her!
Sepideh says
Yes girllll!!!! You’re already ahead of the game because you’re aware of her!!! Good for you!! Keep at it and it’ll get easier with time. I still have to be very conscious of my inner B!
Elizabeth says
Thank you so much for this, ahhh it really stops you from moving on in your day! I needed to read this, thank you so much! 😀 xx
elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
(I would love to follow each other on bloglovin if you like! :D)
Sepideh says
I’m glad you liked it Elizabeth!!!