I woke up feeling sad. Really sad. That's the thing about grief. It comes in waves. And when you think you're in the clear, it rears its' ugly head. I'm not grieving a person per se. Or maybe I am. I'm grieving a mix of things. The 2019 and 2020 were 2 years of pure hell, and I'm still feeling the repercussions in my mind and body. My mind is still in "flight" move, constantly looking for the next thing that's going to flip me on my head. It's like I'm constantly trying to prepare ...
[ journal entry 6 | 2022.01.28 ]
"I guess I should write a journal entry" - my thoughts a few minutes ago. I find that I have a limit of my output of energy. There's a certain amount I can socialize every day. Or a certain number of decisions I can make in an easy. When my energy wanes.... so does my desire to do very much. Although I've always been a queen at pushing through, I've learned that it's not healthy and I find that I've become more lenient with myself. Which isn't a bad thing. It's just different. Although I ...
It’s Never About the Couch (An Important Life Lesson)
There are some situations in life that are seemingly not a big deal...but actually end up bringing up a lit of sh*t and emotions that you didn't necessarily realize were right under the surface. Has it ever happened to you where you exploded or reacted a little bit *too* strongly to a situation that didn't warrant such an emotional reaction? Yup. That's what happened to me recently when I was replacing my couch and trying to finally finish decorating my home where I've been living for over ...
[ journal entry 5 | 2022.01.27 ]
I often wonder if I’m the only one that experiences so many ups and downs, whether it’s from one day to the next, or even moment by moment. I’ll be fine one minute and the next, I’ll be anxious and restless, and find myself pacing my condo. One day I’ll be full of energy, ready to tackle the world and do all the things. And the next day, I want to be in bed and watch Netflix and eat popcorn. Am I normal? But that begs the question : What *is* normal? Does that even exist? And even if ...
[ journal entry 4 | 2022.01.26 ]
I’m on a roll so I want to keep going. But I really don’t know what I’m going to write about today. Then again, I always end up finding something to write about. As a child, I used to talk a lot. Then again….I’m an adult, and I *still* talk a lot. Maybe that’s why I enjoy writing. Because I can keep “talking” and I don’t feel like I’m boring anyone, since you could stop reading whenever you get bored. But hopefully you’re not bored. Hopefully you’re curious about what random thoughts I ...
[ journal entry 3 | 2022.01.25 ]
Funny how things can be different from one day to the next. My energy was frantic/anxious today. And it wasn't great. I felt like I kept jumping from one things to the next, or doing more than one task at a time to try and get ahead of my to-do list. Granted, I was more tired today. My neighbour was making a lot of noise and it woke me up at midnight. I've become *that* neighbour that goes and knocks on the door to tell them to stfu. I don't understand how people are inconsiderate. He ...