Do you have your shit together? (probably not, if you’re reading this). Here are 4 reasons why you might not have your shit together. And even better, here’s an easy tool you can use so that you can figure out where to get started to be able to get your shit together once and for all.
Do you have your shit together? And I mean … really together? (if you want to hear the intonation of my voice when I’m saying that, watch this video I made on IGTV so you can get a better sense of my tone of voice haha).
What do I mean by having your shit together?
Well, I’m so glad that you asked.
Having your shit together simply means knowing where you are and knowing where you’re headed. It means having some clarity of vision of what you want your life to look like and having a strategy in place to work towards it.
So if you feel like:
- You have no idea wtf you’re doing
- You don’t have clarity of vision for your life
- You feel confused/lost about what you want (let alone how to get it)
- You have no plan of attack how to achieve what you want
… then you’re in the right place!
Now, here’s a disclaimer. A little…reality check.
You won’t ever have ALL your shit together, ALL the time.
Sorry. I had to give you some tough love and a little reality check that will help you avoid a lot of heartache in the future when you see how far you’ve come and how much effort you’re putting into getting your shit together, and you STILL feel out of whack.
Here’s the thing. You’re going to change, your goals are going to change, your vision for your life is going to change and your strategy is definitely going to change. And life isn’t perfect, so you won’t always have ALL your shit together.
As long as you have a strong foundation and you have your shit together in the areas that count for YOU, then you’re GOOOOOD.
As you’re going through this post and when you go through the life audit, I want to think about the areas in YOUR life that are your priority – the areas that you feel if you had under control and were more organized and clear, if THOSE were relatively put together, then you would feel less all over the place.
Alright so let’s jump right into it. Here are the reasons why you don’t have your shit together.
If you’re feeling lazy and don’t want to read the whole thing, at LEAST read the headlines (and the sections you feel are relevant to you) and then do the recommended exercise at the end.
The life audit will help you gain some clarity on which areas you need to first focus on so that you can feel like you’re getting your shit together, slowly but surely.
So who’s with me? Who’s ready to get their shit together and feel like they have this whole adulting thing under control?
PIN NOW, READ LATER!
You don’t have your shit together because…you lack clarity of vision
If you didn’t notice, I didn’t say GOALS but I referred to a vision. This refers to a vision for your life.
Your goals are something more concrete, more tangible…your vision is the general idea and image that you have for your life.
Who do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered for? What experiences do you want to have? Where do you want to live? Do you want to get married or have a long-term relationship? Do you want kids? How many? What type of career would you like to have? What will feel fulfilling to you? What is your life’s purpose?!
These are all questions that will give you an idea of the vision you have for your life and what you want to create and what a life of LOVE and a life of PURPOSE means to you.
- Related: How to Uncover and Live Your Purpose
If you don’t have your shit together, you probably don’t know the answers to most of those questions…or you’ve never even thought about them.
But don’t worry! Seriously! The time is NOW! You clicked on this post because you recognize that there IS something missing, that you DO want to get your shit together.
Don’t waste your time and energy feeling bad about not having a vision and not having an answer to the questions above. That’s why you’r here and that’s why I’M here – to help you figure it out.
So just be proud that you had the courage to recognize that
- You DON’T have your shit together, and
- You WANT to have your shit together!
You don’t have your shit together because…you don’t know who you are
The same way that we talk about clarity of vision for your life, I also want you to take a moment to take a step back and ask yourself: Who am I? What are my values? What’s my purpose? Who do I want to be? What makes me happy? What makes me feel fulfilled? What kind of impact do I want to have on those around me? How do I want to live my purpose?
To you have your shit together, you need to understand and know who you are. Because if you don’t know who you are, then how do you expect to have clarity of vision to know what you WANT?
If you don’t know your strengths and weaknesses, your thoughts and beliefs, your fears and dreams….where do you even begin to get your shit together?!
Personal development is a lifelong journey, but you have to have a foundation of knowing who you are at your core to be able to get started. You need to tap into your inner awesomeness to be able to start figuring out what getting your shit together means so that you can figure out the HOW of actually getting your shit together!
And again, you don’t have to feel bad. I think that as a society, we’ve lost touch with the more emotional and psychological side of what makes us human. We are constantly on the go and our lifestyle don’t allow for much time or space to be able to sit down and ask those fundamental questions that are so important to answer.
But the good news..again…you’re here, reading this, for a reason…you want more and you recognized that you DO want to get your shit together. And you’re in the right place because I’ve been where you are and I know how it feels.
But the moment you start taking action, that you start making the time and putting in the effort of understanding who you are, becoming stronger, because more knowledgeable of the vision you want to create…you will start noticing changes and shifts happen in your life.
And let me tell ya, it feels friggin’ AWESOME.
So hang in there friend, you’re not alone on this journey and you WILL get your shit together.
You don’t have your shit together because…fear is holding you back
I mean, if you don’t know who you are, what you want and what your vision for your life is…then OF COURSE you’re going to be scared. Of COURSE fear is going to hold you back from taking action and taking a step…because what direction do you even take a step towards?! How do you even start unpacking what you need to do and where you need to start?!
Fear is holding you back from getting your shit together for a good reason – because it’s overwhelming. Because it’s a lot to think about and lot of emotions to feel so that you can face where you are right now so that you can understand where you want to go.
But here’s the thing: Our emotions are simply there to tell us something. They are there to bring awareness to something deep down.
Fear is a strong emotion that can paralyze us and hold us back from taking ANY action. Fear is a sign that you know that something is missing, that there’s potential danger or a threat lurking somewhere, but you can’t pinpoint it.
The“danger” is not living your life to its fullest, missing out on experiences and not living to your full potential. And that’s something that even *I’M* scared of because I don’t want either of us to wake up one day and realize that life has passed us by and we wasted it with meaningless experiences and unmemorable moments.
Fear is holding you back and it’s normal, but now is the time to tell yourself that fear will not stop you anymore from getting your shit together and living and life of love and purpose, a life filled with meaningful moments and amazing experiences.
You don’t have your shit together because…you’re not being honest with yourself
If you don’t have shit together, then maybe you haven’t been honest with yourself to admit that it might SEEM like you have your shit together, but in reality…you don’t.
In reality, you don’t feel connected to yourself, to your life, and maybe even to those around you. Maybe you haven’t been honest with your unhappiness with the status quo, or with your frustration with the lack of passion and excitement in your life.
Because sometimes, it’s easier to ignore the pain and discomfort than facing it because what if you can’t solve it. What if you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see (this is metaphorical, I don’t mean ACTUALLY not liking what you see….because I know you are beautiful, inside and out!) But then you don’t know how to fix it.
If you haven’t taken the time to stop and reflect and assess on where your life is right now to figure out what your vision is and how you can get your shit together, if you haven’t been brutally honest about what that means for you and what you will need to do, then no wonder you don’t have your shit together!
Getting your shit together will require brutal honesty – you will need to take a hard look at your life to get a real snapshot on where you are right now, so that you can start understanding and uncovering where you’d like to be.
And if you’re ready to take that leap…then keep on reading, because I have the next step – what you need to do next so that you can start getting your shit together!
Get Started!
So…how do you feel? Was that a bit too much tough love for you?
Well, #SorryNotSorry but if I don’t tell you the truth, then who will?! And once you know the reality, at least you can do something about it.
At this point, you’re probably thinking “Ok great, thanks Seppy, now that I know I don’t have my shit together…what the heck do I do?!”
Worry not, I am here.
I created a life audit to help you figure your shit out.
It includes a questionnaire to guide you through a series of Yes/No questions as well as short answer questions. These questions will help you gain some clarity on your CURRENT situation – where you are in life now, what areas you might feel happy with and what other areas you might not be as satisfied with.
With the results from the questionnaire, you will be able to fill out a wheel of life, which will give a visual snapshot of your life – this will help you see areas in your life where you might want to get started on figuring out what you need to do to improve.
I hope you enjoy this tool that I created for you!
To be perfectly honest, this is a tool that even *I* use sometimes because it helps to get a visual of your life. I think that this is something that you should be doing on a regular basis (yearly or maybe twice a year) to make sure that you are staying in touch with yourself and your needs.
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- “CREATE A LIFE OF LOVE + PURPOSE” MASTER CLASS | Learn the tools and strategies to live a more meaningful and happy life. Click HERE to learn more.
Julia says
This helped me a lot in the sense that it really made me realise that a lot of the reason why I’m stagnant in certain areas of my life is all due to fear. Fear of a lot of things though, linked to self-confidence as well.
Julia // The Sunday Mode
Elizabeth P says
Seppy! Gurl! I love this post!! I love the talk of clarity and honestly with yourself. It’s sometimes the hardest thing to do, be honest with yourself. Great words! Awesome tools! Looking forward to reading more.
Anonymous says
I like your ideas and concepts. I agree with all that you are saying. I just wish you didn’t have to swear like a trash mouth to drive your points home. Just say’in.
Valerie says
I was thinking the same thing…
Anonymous says
I’m not an adult I’m actually just a teenager but I’ve just been wanting to get my life together and really focus on my goals and focus on me and your site really helped me.. thanks 🙏
Sepideh says
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad that my content is helping you .. XO
Alivia says
Thank you for this! You articulated things I’m feeling and I’m excited to do your Life Audit and help myself get my shot together!